A perspective of love.

Love, many of us consciously or unconsciously have an unrealistic idea of love as how the media, our favorite books, our favorite dramas/ TV shows/ movies portray love to be - Something that propels and exhibits this sense of excitement, liberation and allows us to feel this slice of serendipity. However, by allowing this someone, the ONE (at this point of time) that makes us feel infinite has also gained the power to manipulate and to make us feel worst than crap.

This very complex juxtaposition has attributed to the bipolarity of human behavior. Many of times, I have heard of people spilling their regrets or even hatred/disgust of their past relationships just because things did not work out or ended well hindering them from stepping into another due to that fear of another cycle of mishaps happening again. I cannot help but feel a sense of pity for them and their previous partners as the way they describe it makes it feel as if they have not just wasted their time but also the disgust in their voice makes them feel as if the other has tarnished their reputation or that they have degraded themselves by being in that relationship. I understand that it is human nature to harp on the negatives as living in an increasing/very pragmatic world today, finding faults or having thoughts and feelings of inadequacy has became such a normality. This makes me feel disheartening to witness humanity not only losing so much faith and courage but also fearing to pursue this very beautiful and lustful emotion/feeling called love. The perplexity of human nature/emotions never fails to amaze me. How can something that seemed so perfect and solid become so fragile and lost so easily?

Also I came across somebody’s writing on second love. He describes second love to be better than the first. ‘Falling in love the first time is easy but giving it away to someone again after the first heartbreak requires a conscious decision of courage to trust someone on a romantic and intimate level. ‘ Feel like yes, the next relationship will to a certain extent allow one to have clarity on what he likes or dislikes in a relationship but also feel that no, why compare? The first and second are two different people and you are short changing one for the other in terms of one’s capabilities which is on such a superficial and shallow level. Feel like love is an emotion that should not have a requirement it is a feeling, an amazing feeling that a stranger can make you feel. If your previous did make you feel that way before things started to become sour she must have been someone special as well. When people compare their partners, it feels as if you are comparing which person you have allowed more of the ability and power to control your life in both a good and bad way. What’s the use of comparing when inevitably you have already given and are the one who determine how much power you are willing to give to someone who inherently could damage you?

Ultimately, being in a relationship with someone is always a choice and when things don’t work out, give yourself time to accept it, be thankful for all the good and bad times that you gained from the experience. Know that the next who comes along will be able to benefit from this experience as well since you have learnt to become a better version of yourself - more patient, more tolerant, more understanding and most of all be thankful that they have allowed you the courage to prove to yourself that you possess the capability to love someone. God’s greatest gift to us is our ability to love. Love is powerful; it is the thread that holds the entire tapestry of our being. That means that no one else has the ability, means or right to take it away from us. This gift is ours and ours alone and we will never lose our ability to exercise our love. It is our choice. Only we alone make our own decision to love.